Friday, October 18, 2013

Making excuses for the Tea Party, Trying to condone the destruction of America

Roadside Sign

I was listening to the news yesterday and there was an endless line of Congressmen marching in front of the cameras.

The were either attacking and blaming each other for the ridiculous brinksmanship we Americans have been dragged through.

The amazing thing was that each one continued to feel that they were the ones that were right and that the "other guys" were to be blamed for the recent damage to our nation.

Well, I didn't vote my local representatives into office for them to take ideological stands that hurt our country.
I voted for them to do what representatives do. And that is to get the things done that the nation requires to be done and to do that with me in mind.
Me, the Average American.

So, as they all continued spouting their own version of double-speak, I just kept an ear open as I read my latest email.

Then one of them got my attention.
This guy, a popular House Republican stated that;

Well, the Tea Party members just didn't understand how things were done in Washington.
He continued with; They have only been in Congress for a couple of years and they had not learned how to be Legislators. He went on with, if they were not so new, they would have approached their goal in a totally different manner. They would be better legislators once they learned how to do their jobs.

I sat back, stunned.

So, to interpret the "POLITI-SPEAK", he was saying that it was OK to;


  1. Cost our nation over 24-BILLION DOLLARS.
  2. Cost thousands of our needy citizens their support payments.
  3. Shut down our National Parks and cost thousands of tourists their vacations and our government their cash.
  4. Critically harm our International image as the most stable government in the world.
  5. Unnecessarily scare the American public about the people who run our government.

And, the list could go on, but I will stop here, having made my point.

It is OK for, as one Democrat put it; "Thirty or Forty congressional radicals" to hold the nation and its day-to-day governing power as hostages, even knowing that they would eventually lose their fight, JUST TO MAKE A POINT.

Well, I hope they enjoy their newly reinstated; free Limousine services, free Gym services, postage and mail services, government paid assistants, Free Medical Services, Free Live Insurance, etc, etc, etc.

Because, guess what?
I am not a political leader.
I am not a picket line walker.
I am not a great or even good speaker.

But, I am a citizen and I do have a good memory.

And I will remember. And I will vote. And, right now, I am so upset with these radical people who do not care what they do to our country, as long as they get their way, that I will definitely be VOTING FOR THEIR OPPONENTS.

To paraphrase an old saying; "I will vote for the political equivalent of a One-Armed Paperhanger before I vote for I put these people back in office".

''NUFF SAID!

by Don Bobbitt, Oct.18, 2013









Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Oct.15,2013, A Day of Infamy. Congressional Polarization

Our National Dead End, pic by Don Bobbitt

This day will be remembered. We, the populace of the US are not the idiots we are obviously considered to be by our our-called representatives.

To have a minority of ideological fanatics in one political part and a group of stubborn idealists in the other have enough power to place our government in the financial position that we now face is unacceptable.

At this point in their game, it is not what their individual delusions really are, it is the fact that they would rather endanger the lives if thousands of citizens, not to mention the once mighty stature of our nation with petty ideologies is enough for us to consider the act of impeachment for many of them.

Over the life of our nation there have been many times when there have been what were considered insurmountable barriers to agreements, but always, the good of the many was put in front of petty differences.
Today, we watch our nation crumble in the hands of a few.

I say, IMPEACH and if we can find a way, imprison the culprits of this obviously PLANNED debacle.

just my opinion, but it is one that I hear it voiced everywhere I go the last few days.

Change? Oh Yes, we demand it!

And We will Not forget this day of infamy!

by Don Bobbitt, Oct.15, 2013

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I'm Old enough to Remember #2: When you could get a Degree without a Student Loan.

I remember when, even if you couldn't afford to go to college after High School, you could take classes anyway and you would eventually get a degree.

And, once you got your degree, there was a whole spectrum of jobs you could apply for.
Also, once hired, you made a larger salary than when you made before.

And you did this while working a good paying hourly job and, of course, you paid for your classes as you learned.

You sacrificed more this way, but You didn't have an enormous STUDENT LOAN to pay off for the rest of your life.

I just Remember, that's all!

DON Bobbitt

Thursday, August 22, 2013

I'm Old enough to Remember-#1 - When we were told SS and Medicare Insurance was a safe thing.


Yes, I am old enough to remember.

This is a TEST!


I remember when I was a young worker for a major electronics manufacturing location and they, our government, told us that paying our SS and Medicare taxes was a GOOD THING!

Yep! If we paid those taxes we would be set for life when we retired.
A comfortable RETIREMENT and an assurance of top-level MEDICAL CARE was ours.

We just had to TRUST our government to take care of us!
TRUST?
TAKE CARE?
What a Joke!

Now we are the aging pariahs of a system that just wants us to hurry up and DIE!

Oh, and this was while our arrogant Congress voted themselves separation from "the peoples system" and into one of the must expensive and wasteful system of medical care designed just for them!
FULL COVERAGE! for Everything! For LIFE!

Yes, I remember!
DON







Saturday, June 22, 2013

I was Just Thinkin' - Is it time for there to be a Third Political Party? A Seniors Party?


I was just going through some of my recent rants on Congress and the President, and how they are slowly but steadily stripping our benefits from all of us Seniors.

And, from what I now see, neither political party has any idea how to handle us, the existing retirees or the Baby Boomers.

The fear in their eyes is evident whenever you see them on TV and the subject of how to may the Medicare and Social Security bills that are looming on the Federal budgetary horizon.

I won't go into the fact that we, as a generation actually paid for our benefits and that the government stole our money and spent it on the Democratic "Great Society".

No, I want to keep this a simple Blog. 

In my opinion, if we Seniors and Baby Boomers do not get ourselves organized as a strong political entity, to protect our rights, them many of us, especially those that now already have marginal funds to support ourselves in our retirement, are going to be literally "on the street" within another year, with what I know and understand about the profound effects of "Obama'Care" on America.

So, really, fellow Senior and Baby Boomer, we need a viable representative for us and our rights, in Congress, and Now!

How do we do this? I do not have a clue, but I welcome suggestions and discussion.

I was Just Thinkin'
DON
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DON

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Sunday Morning Politics - Who is looking Out for ME?


Sunday Morning Politics and my finances

Here I am again!
It's a slow and balmy Sunday morning and i'm sitting here, on my PC, looking sadly at my personal finances.
At the same time, I have the TV on, mostly for the background noise and the occasional weather report.
As is the norm, the network channels are loaded with a virtual parade of politicians, all being being interviewed for their sage opinions on the best ways to fix our country for us.
Here is the Problem:
Everyone out there has a plan for me, but none of them asked me what I wanted!

I am not a party Man, so who is looking out for me.

I am not a party man, and I have never been a party man!
Almost, but no brass ring for me! Several times, over my life, I came close to jumping onto a bandwagon of a political party. But, I always backed off at the last minute over one ideological roadblock or another.
So, I call my self a Middle of the Road voter.
Oh, I have strong opinions about many of the issues, but when I write down a table of the major issues of the day and check off which party agrees with me. I end up with a split list.
Each party agrees with me on certain points and disagrees with me on the others. By that I mean, when I compare the PARTY stance on the issues.
So, I often end up trying to decide which politician to vote for when I only agree with half of what each candidate says.
So, when I walk out of the voting booth, I have to ask myself, did I vote FOR Candidate-A, or did I vote AGAINST Candidate-B?

The Political Circus and the acceptability of actually lying to America

I think that is at the core of our problems in this country today.
The politicians keep forming into their little special interest groups with their canned opinions and now their advertisements that they intentionally base on lies about each other All purposely designed to be believed by you and I, the public.
But, don't they understand? We already have too much scar tissue. Political Scar Tissue grown from their predecessors lies, to trust pretty much anyone wearing a suit today.
Wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air to see a politician, outside somewhere, actually doing something, with family and/or friends. I don't mean a staged and glitzy hype session, but, you know, maybe sitting at a barbecue with sauce on his shirt, a beer in his hand,and possibly an occasional trickle of truth from his mouth?

An Honest Politician who feels he is there to do what the people want.

And maybe he could be wearing a pair of Cargo-type shorts and a faded T-Shirt, along with dirty tennis shoes or Flip-Flops. Not Armani Suit Pants, and a Silk dress shirt with the tie removed.
Then, have them raise their bottle of beer and say something like;
I can't say that I can fix things, but I can say that I will try to do everything that I can to re-establish the Middle-Class as the dominant political group in our country.
We, what is left of the Middle-Class, have watched our savings get tanked by irrational in-fighting in Congress, and then after the damage is done, you look and guess what?
You didn't read or hear the first apology from either party or their splinter groups, for what they did to us and our life savings.
Nope, they just sat back, in that special fat-cat mode that they are so good at, and they continue to blame each other, while promising to continue to pull us down even more, if they don't get their way.
I don't know, You really have to just sit back and laugh at this Sunday morning Circus on TV.
The clowns are brought out with their credentials on their sleeves by the Circus Masters, and they dance and posture as they are asked the same mundane and safe questions.

We only get the Political Circus because We are the Clowns

So, who do we blame for the passive and pointless answers that the Circus Masters get to their flatulent questions?
I don't know, this dance goes on and on, without any real answers of any substance being put before the people to consider.
I really think that after spending my morning's 4 hours of channel changing and listening to the supposed "experts" that I have not only wasted my time, but even the electricity burned by having the TV on has been a waste.
But, I keep watching and listening to them, just like I watch my savings melt like a popsicle on a hot summer day.
You see, I keep holding on to the thought that we are better than what I see and hear, and that there is hope for all of us in this great country of ours. I guess You and I are the real Clowns in their Circus?

About Don Bobbitt

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Copyright © DonBobbitt® 2011,2112, 2013 - All Rights Reserved
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Check out my HOME SITE, my  Hub Profile as well as my Google Plus Profile for links to my web page, Blogs, and Books available on Amazon.


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A Dead End Don Joke - Romantic Seniors wife



A man's wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text one day, in which she said: 


If you are laughing, send me your smile. 
If you are eating, send me a bite. 
If you are drinking send me a sip. 
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. 
If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!

The husband, not being the romantic type, replied, 

“Dear,  I'm on the commode. Please advise."


The Book below provides some good information on decisions a Senior needs to make about their living style:




Tuesday, April 23, 2013

IWas Just Thinkin' - IRS Agents, FBI Agents

Just Chewing on my Cud, Why?

I was Just Thinkin'

With the mistakes of the FBI relative to catching terrorists being blamed on a manpower shortage, I just had an epiphany.

Obama stuck a provision in his omnipotent Obama-Care Bill that allowed for the hiring of over 15,000 new IRS agents to catch Americans who cheat on their taxes.

At the same time, the FBI doesn't have enough agents to track every potential terrorist that enters and leaves our country.

SO...... Let's take the money for at least half of those potential IRS agents and hire more FBI Agents.

This way we get better protection for ALL Americans working against potential terrorist threats, and the IRS can still have 7500 more people to catch those of us who try to claim our dogs as a dependent.

It Looks Good to Me!

Don

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Saturday, April 20, 2013

SENIOR JOKE - Ugly Wife, Great Cook


SENIOR JOKE - Ugly Wife

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff's deputies there. One of the deputies asks if he is married. He says, "Yes, I am."

The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man's wife.

The guy says, "Sure," and gets a photo to show them.

The deputy says, "I'm sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

The guy replies, "I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook."




Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I WAS JUST THINKIN' - Why can't my Taxes be used at Home to Help Americans?

Chewing on my Cud! So to speak! - Pic y Don

OK, I am a Baby Boomer! That has to be obvious by my attitude and disappointment with our leadership in Washington.

What continues to amaze me is how our leaders think that it is OK to STEAL benefits from the citizens of this once great country of ours and hand it out like cookies and candy to other nations around the world.

OK, OK, I understand international politics. I understand that we need to, at times, buy goodwill from "strategic partners".

But really? Even old farts like myself know that you cannot buy Love! It is either there or it isn't.

So, I want to know who sets the limits on these giveaways and who selects the recipients.

Me, I am really looking forward to Obama's plan to reduce my SS check annually for the rest of my life. I mean really, how insulting can they get in Washington when they tell you that;

Oh, sure we understand that, as you age, your medical bills will grow. But, we don't care. We want to take your meager health coverage and rape it when you are at your weakest. We need to do this, so we can give Millions, even Billions to major nations that really do not need it. I;m not talking about nations with starving children, but sad to say, I'm talking about relatively robust nations that really do not like us.

But, that's alright Washington, I am Old and I am an idiot, and You are so, so smart, but watch your back, brother, watch your back. Your replacement are out there, and they are looking for us and our vote. Just wait until we connect and put you out of your cushy job.
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Monday, April 15, 2013

AMERICAN GULLIBLE an article on how we are allowing the government to waste our Social Security


Wayne Brown profile image

AMERICAN GULLIBLE

Here is a great and thoughtful article written by fellow Hubber Wayne Brown.
I think every one of us that has concerns about our federal representatives and what they are doing with the budget and debt should read this one.

I recommend it highly.

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Saturday, April 13, 2013

SENIOR JOKE - A Doctors Visit



They always ask at the doctor's reception desk why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.  '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.


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Friday, April 12, 2013

JOKE - Abbott and Costello do Unemployment


Pic by Don Bobbitt

So how can over 873,000 people come off the unemployment rolls when there were only a little over 114,000 jobs created? 
Below is a transcript of a conversation between two eminent economists discussing this very question! 


  COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in  America . 


  ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 7.8%. 


  COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? 


  ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%. 


  COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%. 


  ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed. 


  COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work. 


  ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%. 


  COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 14.7% unemployed. 


  ABBOTT: No, that's 7.8%. 


  COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%? 


  ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work. 


  COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed. 


  ABBOTT: No, the White House said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the  unemployed.You  have to look for work to be unemployed. 


  COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! 


  ABBOTT: No, you miss his point. 


  COSTELLO: What point? 


  ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who  look for work.  It wouldn't be fair. 


  COSTELLO: To whom? 


  ABBOTT: The unemployed. 


  COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work. 


  ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if   you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.


  COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less
  unemployment? 


  ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down.
  Absolutely! 


  COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for
  work? 


  ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down.
  That's how they get it to 7.8%. Otherwise it would be 14.7%. The resident  doesn't want you to read about 14.7% unemployment.

COSTELLO:
  That would be tough on those Democrats running for reelection.

ABBOTT:
  Absolutely.

COSTELLO:
  Wait, I got a question for you.
  That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number? 


  ABBOTT: Two ways is correct. 


  COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? 


  ABBOTT: Correct. 


  COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a  job? 


  ABBOTT: Bingo. 


  COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of  the two is to have people stop looking for work. 


  ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an Economist. 


  COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said! 


  ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Congress

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I was Just Thinkin' - Flying by Weight?

Pic by Don Bobbitt

I was Just Thinkin'

Really people? I just saw that one or another of the Airlines are considering a plan to charge people who fly by their personal weight.

Jeez! There were people tweeting messages on whether this should be done or not with all kinds of rediculous comments.

I, personally, was too busy laughing at this probe by an industry into the American psyche on a profit idea someone had..

Business' release these little "rumors" in an effort to gauge whether they can find a way to make more money, not to save anyone money.

All of you Skinny people.
Do you really think that you are going to get a break on your airline ticket because you skipped a few meals, or are a practicing bolemic, or whatever it is that makes you small and/or skinny?

No, my skeletal friend. You will save nothing, I am afraid.

What I, or anyone else would do if we ran such a business, would be to keep regular (now to be called skinny tickets) at the regular price and charge the people who are over some arbitrary weight limit, an extra fee, for their "fat tickets", just like they did with the baggage hustle they implemented not long ago.

Listen carefully!  They are in the business of making money, not giving money away!

Nuff Said!
DON

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Sunday, March 24, 2013

Old JOKE - Irish Court Case






Irish Court case

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant,
"You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

The Defendants friend, Paddy sitting at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge looks up and frowns at the courtroom and continues with,

"You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

Again Paddy yells out, "You rotten bastard!"

The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom.
"Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes,
but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"

Paddy stands up and says,
"I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years
I've lived next door to that arsehole,
and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one.


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Friday, March 22, 2013

I was Just THINKIN' - SMARTPHONES

SMARTPHONES!

It seems that everyone has a Smartphone today, and the statistics I just saw on the national news supports this.

But, I was just thinking on one truth about these techological miracles that all have in our pockets these days.

A SMARTPHONE CAN PERFORM MANY JOBS FOR YOU!

But you must eventually ask yourself

HOW MANY JOBS DO I NEED DONE BY MY SMARTPHONE?

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Here is a little test for everyone;
First; Count the number of APPS you have loaded!
Then, Count the number of APPS you have actually used
over the past three months.
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DON

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Friday, March 15, 2013

I was Just Thinkin' - PORK BARREL Issues



This little article includes my rant about the stupidity of Congress and their continuing inability ro agree to resolve issues.
It is my opinion, mine only, and I do this, for no other reason than to lower my blood pressure.
This is not an effort to change the minds (really?) of those that we have put in charge of our lives and our futures.
In case you have been living in the same hole in the ground that Punxsutawney Phil calls home, here is a little news bite that I just witnessed.
First, you must be aware that the Income tax reduction that was put in place several years ago, by the Bush administration, has ended.
Just to give you some perspective on this tax reduction, if it is not renewed, the typical person that has an income of $50,000, will see a tax increase, of approximately $1000 for the year.
So,let's keep it simple with the math.
Just divide that $1000 by 12 and you get $83.33 per month that you will not have, personally, to pay bills, buy food, or whatever you needs may be.
$1000 divided by 12 months equals $83.33
Now, why my rant?
Well, as the story unfolded on the TV show, it turns out that the show stopper is another example of "Stupid Is as Stupid Does" by Congress, or so it seems to me.
This time it seems that with both parties holding up approval of an extension to the tax break is actually both the Elephants and the Donkeys.
I call them by their animal names because it helps me understand the obvious lack of "Potty Training" on their part.
Why Potty Training?
Using this phrase help me explain why the members of the two parties are constantly walking around PISSING on each other rather than resolving the issues that are critical to pulling our economy back up by its bootstraps.
What is the Issue this time?
This time the Elephants say they are ready to approve the tax exemption but the Donkeys are the problem.
Why are the Donkeys a problem?
You will love this!
According to the Elephants, the Donkeys/Elephants, (who know which is the original culprit here) had attached one of those Pork Barrell issues to the Bill for the approval of the tax reduction extension.
And what was this oh-so-important issue?
Why it's the approval for that Keystone Oil Pipeline from Alaska through Canada and into and across part of the US to Texas.
And what is the issue with this giant, lobbyist-driven Boondoggle?
Why, don't you understand? The Donkeys, yes the Donkeys, are refusing to approve the Bill due to ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES.
Environmental Issues? What environmental issues you might say?
Well, they don't really have a handle on that, at the moment, you see.
We NEED TO STUDY the POSSIBLE environmental impact of such a project as this one.
They haven't found an endangered animal, not even a Snail.
They haven't found any seismic situations that might cause a broken oil line.
They haven't even found a site whose beauty might be sullied by such a pipeline.
Nope! They just want to study everything, just in case there is an issue that pops up that needs management.
And, the Bill has now affected the economy through; Federal worker reductions, reduced Medicare payments, and EPA standards on Boiler emissions, just to name a few of the little Boogers that they have attached to the underside of the bill that was supposed to help us, the middle-class Americans just get a decent tax break.
The Bill is HR 3630.
This is why i have these rants.
Our representatives in Congress, even when they have a clear and clean-cut issue that can help everyone in the middle class of America next year, just have to screw things up.
This, when they need to help us all with a continued tax reduction during this critical time for our country.
But, no, they play their petty games and do this to us all..
Now, I don't want to make any plant, animal, or anything else extinct. I don't want to endanger the environment, in any way.
But, when you intentionally attach such a volatile project onto one that we, the whole country needs approved, you are really telling us, the public, one thing.
CONGRESS REALLY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND!
They don't understand the true needs of the people.
They don't understand the state of our economic problems,
They don't understand how PISSED, we, the public, are with them.
END of RANT!


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Sunday, March 3, 2013

JOKE - A True Golfer

TRUE GOLFER  

He left home around 8:30am to play golf with his friends. On the way out the door, he answered his wife’s “What time will you be home?”

“Probably around 1:30 – I’ll have lunch at the club.”

1:30 came and went, 3:00 passed, 6:15, still not home, finally at about 7:00pm he rolls in the driveway, leaves his clubs in the garage, and presents his wife with a pizza, and begins the apologetic story.

"We finished our game about 12:30, had lunch and I started home, when alongside the road I saw this attractive girl with a flat tire on her car.

I stopped to help, got the tire changed, and looked around for a place to wash my hands.
She offered money, but I refused, so she suggested that I at least allow her to buy me a beer.

She said there's a tavern just up the road, and they have a restroom, you can clean up a bit.
 I agreed to stop, we had a beer, then another beer, then a couple more, and I realized that this girl was not only pretty, she was very friendly, and a good companion to spend time with.

Before I knew it, we were in the motel next door having sex.

And that is why I am so late getting home."

 His wife looked him right in the eye and said,
 "Don't bullshit me -- you played 36 holes, didn't you?
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Thursday, February 28, 2013

OLD JOKE - Tom;s Scrotum


Tom's scrotum... The Best Story of the Year:
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible wreck on his Harley, and his scrotum was completely crushed. 

The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." 

We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."


Ten Quirky Places to Retire - AARP Article

Pic by Don Bobbitt

Here is a great article I read on the AARP magazine that lists some great places to consider for retirement.

They are "Artsy" locations for those that like that kind of lifestyle.

I feel that you will enjoy reading this, so just click on the link below:

Quirky Places to Retire


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Monday, February 4, 2013

Funny Joke - HELL EXPLAINED

Seagull by Don Bobbitt

Sometimes, I just gett a great Joke that is sure to be a Classic, eventually.
And this one is going to end up in the annals of Comic History.  Check it Out!


HELL EXPLAINED

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
  
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
  
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?  

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
 
 One student, however, wrote the following:  
 First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at thedifferent religions that exist in the world today.

  Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. 
 
This gives two possibilities:  

  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 
 
  2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?  
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be acold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.


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Friday, January 25, 2013

SENIOR JOKE - Gun Control for Seniors

Here is another funny email Joke that I received yesterday. 

There was a bit of confusion at the Sporting Goods store this morning.

When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun registry people running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!
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Saturday, January 19, 2013

SENIOR JOKE - The Coyote - A satire.


Roadside Sign from Flikr

What a funny joke that is actually a good, yet exaggerated, example of how our politicians can function when we let them get out of control!


THE COYOTE
 


California :

 
The Governor of Californiais jogging with his dog along a nature
trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the
Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie
"Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only
doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote
and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating
it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better
treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the
attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with
additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit
against the State.

TEXAS :
 
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke andTexas is not.


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Friday, January 18, 2013

Senior Joke - The Hypnotist in the Senior Center


Sunset, by Don Bobbitt
Here is a funny one I received via someone's email broadcast.


 It was entertainment night at the Senior Center . 
Claude the hypnotist  exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

 The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.
 "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my
family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. . ."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. 

Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

 "SHIT!" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Center .
Claude was never invited back to entertain.

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Sunday, January 13, 2013

SENIOR JOKE - Receptionist and Protocol

Pic via Flickr

Here is another good Senior Joke for your nejoyment:


They always ask at the doctor's reception why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.  ' 


'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'

The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.
The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.
 

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're going to lose!


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Some Products on Amazon designed for SENIORS